To the Woman Grieving on Mother’s Day

Once upon a time, Mother’s Day was ‘just’ a day.

When I was younger, I made my mom a card, sent jewelry or flowers, and completely took for granted that I had a great mom who knew I loved her and knew she loved me.

Then I became a mom.

Again, mother’s day was just another day that my family celebrated. I knew Macy loved me every day, so it wasn’t much different than a random Tuesday. For the 19 days I had Caleb, the bond was strong. I loved him, and he loved me.

Then the wreck happened.

Then Mother’s Day was no longer ‘just’ another day.

It would serve as a reminder that my in my heart I was still a mom, but I didn’t have my babies to hold.

And once my eyes were open to my own pain, they saw the pain of others.

Once you see, you can’t un-see.

I saw my friends grieving.

I saw my friends who had messy, complicated relationships with their mothers.

It’s isn't ‘just’ a day for them.

I saw mothers grieve the messy, complicated relationships with their children.

It isn’t ‘just’ a day for them.

I saw friends bury their beloved mothers and ache to talk to them just one more time.

It isn't ‘just’ a day for them.

I saw my friends who desperately wanted to be mothers pray desperate prayers,  yet remain childless.

It isn't ‘just’ a day for them.

I saw other women lose their babies before they even got to meet them.

It isn't ‘just’ a day for them.

I saw people I love bury their newborns before they had a chance to bring them home from the hospital; their motherhood spent in the NICU.

It isn't ‘just’ a day for them.

I saw women just like me who lost the child(ren) they loved.

It isn't ‘just’ a day for them.

I saw friends bury their grown children.

It isn't ‘just a day for them.

Dear friends who Mother’s Day isn’t ‘just’ another day, I SEE you.

My prayer is we find the good in the midst of the hurt. That we see a loving God who never leaves or forsakes us. 

May we never minimize the pain, but may we rest in the truth we won’t live in the pit forever. May we choose the see the blessings that we have today… because they are there.

Let us be thankful for those who stood in the gap as surrogate mothers. 
Let us be thankful for the children around us who love us.
Let us be thankful for friends who sit in the ashes with us and load our dishwasher.
Let us be thankful… even when the tears flow.

Today I am thankful I no longer walk in oblivion to the pain of those around me. I count it a blessing that I am able to see you.

A Small Gift For You:

One of the things I’ve found helpful on hard days is to keep my hands busy without having to do much thinking.

I'd love to gift you a coloring page for this Mother’s Day.

Much love, my friend!